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BECAUSE WOMEN ARE WORTH IT

OUR DNA

First of all we are a strong and independent country, led by our lady Warrior Princess Xena.

We have a rather old population, but we see that as an advantage because wisdom takes age. Our government only consists of women, while men are only used for hard labour. They are unworthy of other tasks. Our economy consists of two big pillars: the gambling industry and tax evasion. Crime is not tolerated in any way here. We still use the death penalty (at least for men) so that’s why the crime rate is very low. Another critical factor is our vegetation. Up north, we have lots of beautiful tundra. We believe in Scandinavian mythology with goddess Freya as the most important one. It’s everyone for themselves in our country, that’s what makes you stronger. Go hard or go home! We also have a lot to offer for tourists: we have great pastry and local alternative foods such as sheep’s stomach and bull testicles.

OUR VISION

We want to become a free country for women, and as separated as possible from the unworthy ones. We want to grow as an independent country, where every single person can take care of herself/itself. All of this has to be possible with the least of violence and crime. We want to help our economy grow by building more casinos and trying to find new ways to evade taxes that the UBN imposes on us. Furthermore it remains very important to worship our Gods and our beloved Warrior Princess Xena. Without them, this country would be doomed to fail.

OUR NATIONAL DISH, BULL BALLS

Product:

Our national dish are the well known ‘Bull Balls’. The testicles of original Nordish bulls. First we fry them, and then we serve them in a sandwich together with some cabbage and a light spicy white sauce. That is the classic sandwich but we also have some other varieties with other sauces and other vegetables.

Promotion:

Everybody in Nørda knows this product. Therefore, continuous promotion isn’t necessary. But whenever the season is there, the industry gives lots of discounts to celebrate this wonderful dish. However, from time to time, around the period of our national bull day, we offer some promotions to the people.

Price:

The price is pretty low so everyone can afford buying it. You can already have 1 Bull Ball sandwich for 5 Nør which corresponds with around 7€. Even the richest people are fan of our delicious balls.

Place:

Every town in Nørda has Bull Balls stalls. Just like the Belgian “frietkoten”. Did you just go out and are you a bit hungry? Don’t worry there is definitely a stall that sells Bull Balls near you.

Background story :

Thousands of years ago, our ancestors first slaughtered a Nørdic Bull. And because of their hate towards the male sex, they decided to eat the bull’s balls. To their own surprise, the taste was incredibly good. Since then, the Bull Balls are part of the traditional culture of the Nørdic people. You can find the Bull Balls stalls in every city and even in the smallest towns.

Product

INFOGRAPHIC

About

Featured

MARKETING PERSONA

Name: Tanaris Martio

Short catch-phrase: fashion, passion and ambition. That’s me.

Gender: female

Age: 22

Country/region: Maritus

Status: Married to a 52 year old man (child marriage).

Family data: 4 brothers and 2 sisters. She already has 4

children (boys)

Educational level: average, she finished high school.

Profession: uterus machine, cooking and cleaning in the house

Social class (income): working class

Goals: To become a free and independent woman. She wants to move to Nørda and become a tax evasion specialist. She wants to leave her 4 children behind and move on with her life.

Likes: Fashion, shopping, gossiping, reading books, going out with friends,…

Dislikes: She doesn’t like men because she has been violated by a man she doesn’t love.

Lifestyle characteristics: She’s pretty girly and likes fashion and shopping. The mall is where you can find here. She likes reading books and is ambitious. She practices BBB 3 times a week and goes for a run when the sun is shining.

Personality characteristics: She’s humoristic and sociable but she also needs some alone time. People would say that she is cheerful and optimistic.

A day in Tanaris’ life:

I wake up at 8 after a rough night because 2 of my children were crying.
I give my children (Jonas, Ewoud, Florian & Jan) breakfast and then I bring them to school.
At 10 I gently wake up my husband and bring him breakfast in bed.
My husband leaves at 11, I prepared his lunch.
I start cleaning and scrubbing until my husband gets home.
At noon, I’m alone and I eat bread with cheese. I don’t have time to cook for myself because I have to scrub toilets.
At 4 I take the cargo bike and get the children out of school.
My husband gets home at 6. He is slightly frustrated so it’s my task to pleasure him.
At 7 I have to cook for my family again.
At 9 I am meeting up with my best friend. I am very happy that my husband gave me permission to do this. I have to be home at 10.
I get home at 10 and put the kids in their beds.
At 11 me and my husband are going to sleep.